It is crazy how much life changes when you introduce a little baby into the family. It is a beautiful and fun change.
Holding sweet Rachel for the first time, I instantly knew that my life was forever changed. And that my heart had grown exponentially.
One thing that really changed for me was my relationship with my Heavenly Father. When I held Rachel for that first time, I felt immense love. Immense UNCONDITIONAL love. That was probably one of the strongest times in my life when I really truly felt Heavenly Father’s unconditional love for me.
We go around life loving and being loved. However, we are conditioned to think that love is conditional. That we will only be loved if we do something good first. We lose sight of the fact that we are going to be loved by God NO MATTER WHAT we do. I mean, that is no excuse to do whatever we want. We should want to show him our love and do the best we can. But even when we do screw up and make mistakes, he still and will always love us.
I felt that when I held my baby. I knew that she was going to grow and eventually become independent and probably make choices that I wouldn’t agree with or that would cause me pain. But I knew that I would always love her, no matter what!
Feeling that love helped me understand my God so much more and it helped me experience his love so much more profoundly.
The other day, I was driving with Rachel and we were on our way home. The car ride was 30 minutes long and I was hoping that Rachel would sleep the whole time. Things did not turn out like I had hoped. She screamed the WHOLE car ride home. I was in tears myself because there was nothing I could do or say that would stop her from crying. It was the most horrible feeling. It broke my mama heart!
I tried to talk to her, which made her madder. I tried to sing to her. She was not having it. I tried to hold her hand and drive with my other hand. That did nothing to soothe her. I tried explaining to her why I couldn’t hold her and how she needed to be in the car seat, in the back of the car to ensure her safety. Nothing would soothe my sweet little love and it broke my heart. But I knew that I had to keep her there and that it was the safest place for her to be. I had to leave her there because I loved her!
This made me think about my Heavenly Father. There are times when I am screaming at him. When I am crying because I just want things to be different. I want things to go my way. I want him to do what I want.
He is pained when I do that. It breaks his heart. Because He knows that what He has in store for me is the better, safer route. He knows that His plan will have a greater outcome than mine ever could. He knows that even though it causes me temporary pain, there is something greater to come of it. He does it and deals with it, because He loves me. But He WILL NOT leave me alone through it. He will cry tears with me and try his best to soothe me through the trial. He WILL NOT leave me comfortless.
My love in no way compares to the love of our Heavenly Father. His love is perfect in every way. It is the most pure and unconditional love that ever has existed. He is Love!
Oh, to be loved by Him!! There is nothing greater!